


In Which Javi Dies

by of_feathers_and_bowstrings



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Crack, HabiPrayerCircle4Gold, M/M, Romance, death by zamboni, don't take this seriously, i was put up to this, it's not really funny, knife shoes appreciation society, my attempt at humor, there's a surprise at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-13 03:10:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17480090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/of_feathers_and_bowstrings/pseuds/of_feathers_and_bowstrings
Summary: Just as the title suggests, Javi dies.





	In Which Javi Dies

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Here I am with a short little thing I was put up to. I don't really know what this is but I tried.

Javi doesn’t know how he got here, sprawled out in the middle of an ice rink. He remembers his going away party at the Cricket Club. Remembers all the heartfelt and tearful goodbyes. He’s not going to miss the training, that’s for sure. But he’ll miss the people. More specifically, he’ll miss one dramatic, wig-snatching, Pooh-loving boy. Their goodbye had been civil and there were a lot less tears than Javi expected. Especially considering how much Yuzuru cried on a daily basis. But Javi figured that Yuzuru must’ve come to terms with the fact that Javi would no longer be part of the Cricket Club and that they would no longer train together. They’ll always be friends…sort of friends…friends that occasionally made “eyes” at each other and touched each other. There was that one time where they made out in a storage closet after Worlds 2017. Oh, and that one time where they slept together that one crazy night after one of the Fantasy on Ice shows….but that’s besides the point and none of this information is very relevant to the plot of this story. Provided that this story has an actual plot…but back to Javi’s predicament at hand.

 

Javi’s a little confused as to what’s going on. He remembers going to sleep after everything and somehow when he woke up, he was here. On the ice. With two broken legs. He doesn’t know how he broke his legs and under any normal circumstance, he’d be devastated because how is he supposed to skate his YOLO skate at Euros? He’d been working really hard on tweaking up his short program (his tiddies can attest to that) and he felt really good about his long program. He’d also managed to get his salchow back because Yuzuru had offered it back to him after a season of “borrowing” it. Had this been any other situation, Javi would probably ask Yuzuru for some of his magic duct tape. But this is not a normal situation. Javi honestly doesn’t even know what to make of this situation. 

Because he’s here, on the ice, flat on his stomach, the cold ice seeping through his shirt, and there’s Yuzuru. Sobbing. And trying to start the Zamboni. Javi can tell he’s struggling with it because he can hear Yuzuru curse in between sobs and because he knows for a fact Yuzuru can’t drive. He’s suddenly brought back to that one time when Javi tried teaching Yuzuru how to drive. It was a train wreck and they ended up crashing into a tree and toppling over. It should be mentioned that they were not in fact, in a real car but one of those toy cars that you can buy at any Walmart. Javi wonders now if maybe he should’ve started off a little easier and just taught Yuzuru how to ride a bike instead. 

“How do you start Zamboni? Won’t turn on!” Yuzuru whines and Javi huffs and rolls onto his side to look at Yuzuru.

“Have you tried turning the key?”

“Yes, I try but—“ Yuzuru starts muttering something in Japanese. Eventually, he gets it going, “I GOT IT!”

“That’s fantastic, Yuzu. Why do you need a Zamboni? And uh…what are we doing here?”

“Need Zamboni to run Javi over.”

“Oh, I see. Well—wait, what?!” 

Yuzuru starts sniffing and crying again as he slowly drives the Zamboni out onto the ice. “You leaving and do not want Javi to leave, so must kill Javi.”

“Wait, wait, that doesn’t make any sense! You’re joking right? This is just a joke, right?”

“I do not joke!” Yuzuru says adamantly and starts moving towards Javi. 

_Oh, oh shit._

Javi rolls onto his stomach again and starts trying to pull himself to safety. He can hear the hum of the Zamboni and it makes his heart race. Eventually, his arms get tired give out from beneath him. He looks back to check his progress and sees that he’s really only moved a good two feet. Javi groans. He really should’ve added more endurance training to his training schedule. 

Javi then checks on Yuzuru and sees that Yuzuru is sort of just driving in very slow circles by the end of the rink. A good distance away from Javi. It looks like Yuzuru is not going to make any progress towards Javi any time soon so Javi decides to catch his breath and also to reminisce about their past. Which is something a totally sane person would do when their life is threatened by a inept Zamboni driver. 

Javi remembers the first time he met Yuzuru. The kid had been a noodle of a boy and had the most extra costumes Javi had ever seen. The sparkles on Yuzuru’s costumes could blind a man. Javi is almost convinced that’s what weeds out the competition. Yuzuru’s sparkles were just too powerful. He remembers the day Yuzuru came to the Cricket Club, a broody expression on his face and a thick notebook detailing everything about the Plushenko vs Yagudin rivalry. Javi, being Javi, took that notebook, threw it away, and hugged Yuzuru who had nearly melted in Javi’s arms.

That had been a good day. From there, they grew to become fierce competitors and fierce friends (who were occasionally lovers but they deny it), that took turns topping (make of that what you will). But Javi thought that their relationship was pretty good. It might’ve gotten dodgy at some points due to Yuzuru’s intensity and extreme love for gold but Javi thought they were okay. 

“Javi, I can’t stop driving in circles! How do you make it go straight?” Yuzuru cries. 

_Javi, my dude, he’s obviously having trouble. Maybe it’s time to get the fuck out?_

_Yeah, but look at him. He’s in trouble. I need to help him._

_Javi, he’s trying to kill you._

_But he looks so pretty doing it. Why is he such a pretty crier?_

_Yeah, okay, well, I guess we’ll just die then. That’s cool. No eighth Euros title. We’ll just die, I guess._

“Yuzu—“

“Nevermind! I got it!” 

Yuzuru stops going in circles and starts heading straight for Javi. Granted, he’s moving at three miles per hour but that seems to be enough to make Javi move faster. Javi starts trying to crawl on his arms again, sweat beading down his forehead. 

“Yuzu, can’t we talk this out?”

“We talk last night. You not staying. No need to say anymore. Javi goes ‘bai bai.’”

_Ah, shit that ‘bai bai’ is cute._

_Yeah, still trying to kill you…_

“Yuzu, come on. Let’s just talk about our feelings and—“

“HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME!” Yuzuru starts wailing. “I SAID I CANNOT DO WITH OUT YOU BUT YOU LEAVE!”

“But—“

“I even put your quad in program! So Javi is with me always!”

“That’s very sweet, Yuzu but I don’t get—“

“Javi is very special existence in my heart! Very important for my skating! Javi is reason I move to Canada in first place!”

“Are…are you quoting your own interviews?”

“Thought we have rivalry like Plush and Yagudin. Did not know Javi was so gentle. These six years would have been so hard if not for Javi—“

_Yeah, okay, he’s quoting his own interviews._

Javi stops for a moment. “But Yuzu, if that’s all true then WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

“IT’S HOW I EXPRESS MY LOVE!” Yuzuru sobs. 

_oh…well shit._

“Wait, you love me?” 

Yuzuru blushes. “Of course I love Javi!” 

“Awww…I love you, too!”

Javi falls limp, a stupid smile on his face. He’s stopped running (crawling) and he doesn’t feel like he wants to run anymore. Running from Yuzuru and his feelings (Zamboni) is exhausting. As he surrenders himself to his fate, he thinks that this really isn’t the worst way to go. Death by a two-time Olympic Champion, two-time World Champion, four-time Grand Prix Final Champion, four-time Japan Nationals Champion, and holder of 16 World Records and the love of his life seems like a pretty good way to go. 

…and then he gets run over by the Zamboni and dies. All with a smile on his face, of course. 

Yuzuru stops the Zamboni and gets off. “Javi, are you dead now?” 

He starts moving towards Javi, his feet pushing off the ice as if he were using skates, forgetting that he is only in fact, in a pair of socks. He takes another step and slips and also dies. 

But in the end, their love is there for all to see. Stained into the ice. Literally. Their blood forms a heart. Somehow. 

THE END. 

**Author's Note:**

> Omake: 
> 
> Javi startles awake and jolts upwards. He looks around frantically, trying to make sense of where he is. Thankfully, he's in his room. Not in an ice rink about to be killed by Yuzuru driving a Zamboni. A little whine beside him startles him. 
> 
> He looks down and sees Yuzuru stirring by his side. He wakes up and rubs at his eyes, blearily. "Javi, why you up? 
> 
> "I dreamt you murdered me with a Zamboni." Javi settles back into bed and Yuzuru curls up against him, nuzzles his neck like a sleepy kitty. "Good thing that was just a dream, huh?"
> 
> Javi relaxes into his sheets and wraps an arm around Yuzuru. He's starting to drift when he hears Yuzuru whisper, "Silly Javi. Better ways to kill than with Zamboni. Like with knife shoes."
> 
> Javi's eyes snap open and he laughs nervously. "I'm gonna go ahead and choose to take that as a joke."
> 
> "Knife shoes appreciation society will take care."
> 
> "What?"
> 
> "Good night, Javi." 
> 
> THE END.


End file.
